One Wish
by Jessica237
Summary: JC. For all Calleigh knew, those endless voids in their lives might never be filled again. Christmas fic. Calleigh angst.


**Title:** One Wish  
**By: **Jessica  
**Pairing:** Jake/Calleigh  
**Rating: **T  
**Timeline:** Follows Constant Compromise as the second piece in the Endless Sacrifice series.

* * *

_December 24th, 2007_

It was the night before Christmas, a night which was supposed to be the most magical night of the year. It was supposed to be a restless night for many excited children, finding themselves far too giddy to sleep, anticipating the arrival of Santa. Their parents would put them to bed early and warn them that if they didn't go to sleep, then Santa wouldn't come tonight. The most daring of those children would slip their way out of bed around midnight, tiptoeing down the stairs, hoping to catch a peek at St. Nick. Of those who did, many of them would be caught by their parents halfway down the stairs, and the others would reach the den, their gazes immediately finding the gifts beneath the tree, now too excited about that to realize that they may have just missed Santa. Whatever the case, the first rays of early morning sunlight couldn't come fast enough for any of them.

One year ago, Leah Berkeley had been one of those excited kids. One year ago, the magic of Christmas had been enough to erase the darkest memories from her mind, not that she'd had many, if any, dark memories last year. One year ago, Leah had been happy.

What a difference a year could make.

This year, Christmas came with the weight of six months of the darkest memories and broken promises. The happy, bubbly little girl from years past had been transformed into a shadow of herself. What could possibly bring about such a complete change in such a young child? It was a question that Calleigh asked herself all the time before her own heavy heart reminded her of the answer.

It all went back to that humid, summer night, nearly six months ago to the date. That night, in the badly lit hallway, had been the last time Leah, who'd been half-asleep at the time, had seen her father. At first, it had been no different. Leah still had fun at the park; she still had fun on her playdates. She was, in almost every sense of the word, unaffected. The only change came during Leah's bedtime routine. She still brushed her teeth like a good girl, and she still hopped into bed tightly clutching the teddy bear that Jake had given her last year. She still allowed Calleigh to tuck her in, but after that, every night Leah would ask the question that had vaguely inhabited her mind all day.

_"Is Daddy coming home tomorrow?" she asked, her chocolate eyes pleading for her mother to say yes, just once._

_Calleigh sighed. "I don't know, sweetheart," she said softly, stroking the little girl's blonde locks._

_Leah nodded, seemingly accepting that answer. But as Calleigh leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead, she spoke up again. "Well, when is he coming home?"_

_Giving her daughter a long look, Calleigh fought internally with herself. She didn't want to lie to her daughter, but she also didn't want to tell her the truth, that Calleigh herself had no idea when Jake would be home. So instead Calleigh merely forced a smile and offered an evasive response. "Soon, honey." That answer was easier for both of them to stomach.  
_

But _soon_ quickly turned into several weeks, and Calleigh felt her own strong exterior start to crumble under the pressure. It had never been this hard before; but then again, the last time Jake had been gone this long was before Leah was born.

Leah, however, was a very persistent little girl. And for some reason unknown to Calleigh, Leah had chosen to be persistently positive rather than persistently negative. She persisted in hope; believing deep within her heart that her father was on his way home.

Selfishly, Calleigh was glad that Leah had stayed strong. She didn't know if she had the strength necessary to adequately comfort her daughter, not when Calleigh herself was ready to break down inside. Still, even Calleigh could tell that her daughter's hope wouldn't last forever.

A reviving of that hope came to the little girl, though; disguised inside a phone call one Sunday night in late August. It couldn't have come at a better time - that was the night before Leah was to begin kindergarten, and Jake had known that. He'd done everything that he possibly could to get free that night, just so he could take the chance to call his two favorite girls and sufficiently check up on both of them.

For Calleigh, hearing his voice seemed to drive her even further into loneliness. She could tell the loneliness was gnawing at him too, and it just made her long for the warmth and comfort of his arms even more. In the back of her mind, Calleigh knew that, if he'd found the time to call tonight, he couldn't possibly be almost ready to come home. It was those depressing thoughts that tainted her mind as she handed the phone to Leah.

But rather than fall into the same depressive thoughts as her mother, Leah's eyes had lit up more brightly than anything Calleigh had ever seen. A genuine smile touched her lips, and her words were bubbly as she spoke to her father. Just like everything else he said to her, Leah took his words in this one phone call completely to heart.

_"I love you, Angel," he'd said, wanting nothing more than to be at home with his family. With a frown he remembered Calleigh's voice, how broken it had sounded to him as she'd told him goodbye, yet again. "Stay strong for your mama, okay? And I'll be home soon."_

And that had been the last time she'd heard his voice. It had been the last time Calleigh had heard his low, soothing voice; seven weeks after he'd left, and a little over four months ago. For a while, things had been okay. Jake had given them enough hope to last for a little while longer. And Leah's hope was contagious; even Calleigh herself began to believe that Jake would be home soon.

But the middle of September arrived too quickly, and as the seventeenth came and passed without any sign of Jake, Leah suddenly lost all hope. For the first time, she went to bed that night with tears in her eyes. And Calleigh finally realized why Leah had been so optimistic until now.

Every year, on her birthday, Jake dropped whatever he was doing and spent the entire afternoon with Leah, his little angel. Every year, without fail. Leah had, in her heart, believed that this year, her sixth birthday, would be no different.

But it was. The afternoon of her sixth birthday found Leah, not out and about and spending time with her father, but standing in front of the front window, her eyes glued to the road outside. It felt like a broken promise to her, and Leah had been _devastated._ Now, three months later, she had yet to recover from that. Calleigh knew that she wouldn't until Jake was home again, like he'd promised he would be.

It pained Calleigh to know what she could expect, tonight. She would put Leah to bed, just like any other night. Leah would sigh deeply as Calleigh tucked her in, but no words would touch her lips. It broke Calleigh's own heart once she'd realized it, but after her birthday, Leah had stopped asking when her daddy would be coming home. All of her hope had been bled dry, and trying to hold on to the tiniest sliver of hope as it fought desperately against her tiny hands was more exhausting than just letting go.

Calleigh also knew that, after she put Leah to bed tonight, Leah would stay in bed. There would be no pitter-patter of tiny excited feet on the stairs; there would be no sneaking down early with hopes of catching Santa…or, as the case had been last year, not Santa, but a cookie-thief.

--

_It was the strangest sound that filled the otherwise silent night. Calleigh's ears perked toward the sound as she brushed her teeth, getting ready to finally turn herself in for the night. For the moment, Calleigh shrugged off the noise, remembering that Jake was still downstairs; he'd noticed Calleigh's exhaustion, and he'd told her to head on up to bed while he finished setting the gifts below the tree._

_So the noise - all that could be was Jake. After all, a couple of Leah's presents this year were quite heavy; Jake had insisted on spoiling the little girl. "She's only going to be our baby for so long," Jake would say, though the explanation really meant nothing. Both Jake and Calleigh knew that Leah would always be their baby._

_With a lazy smile, Calleigh turned off the faucet, setting aside her toothbrush. With a yawn, she shook her hair out of her loose ponytail, letting it cascade around her shoulders. And…there was that noise again. With the water off, Calleigh could hear it a little more clearly this time. Suspicious, she slowly made her way out to the stairs, several different scenarios running through her head before she heard the most incriminating sound of all - a giggle._

_Comprehension dawning, Calleigh let out a chuckle of her own as she made her way down the stairs. She knew exactly what she would find as she stepped into the den._

_Except…she didn't find what she knew she would find. Confused, Calleigh looked around the darkened den, seeing nothing out of place. The bottom of the tree was still barren, though, so where on earth was Jake? And why was Calleigh hearing her daughter giggle?_

_Her answer came in the form of another giggle, coming from the direction of the kitchen. Calleigh began to make her way toward the sound, following the low lights that spilled out from the kitchen._

_As she arrived in the doorway, Calleigh placed her hands on her hips, watching the scene before her. Her daughter was currently perched atop the kitchen counter, a Christmas tree cookie in one hand, and a glass of milk in the other. Jake stood beside her, a headless snowman cookie in his own hand, and a grin on his lips._

_"You bit his head off!" Leah accused, pointing to the cookie in her father's hand._

_Jake laughed. "So? You do the same with your animal crackers, Angel," he pointed out, gently tapping her nose._

_"I do not, Daddy!" Leah protested with a giggle._

_"Do so," Jake retorted, taking another giant bite out of his cookie._

_Calleigh couldn't help but give a soft laugh, alerting both her husband and her daughter to her presence. To their credit, both of them had the grace to look sheepish. "What are you guys doing?" Calleigh asked, an amused grin on her lips._

_For a moment, her only answer was that of silence. Jake glanced at Leah, as Leah glanced right back at him, giving the impression that both of them were doing some very quick thinking._

_But then, Leah decided it was every midnight cookie stealer for his or herself. "Daddy was trying to steal Santa's cookies!" she tattled, giving Calleigh her very best pout._

_Jake nearly choked. "What?" he asked hoarsely, staring incredulously at his daughter. "I was not!"_

_"Yes you were!" Leah persisted. She turned back toward her mother. "He was! I caught him trying to steal Santa's cookies! And then he said if we kept it a secret, we could get our own cookies and milk!"_

_Calleigh gave a soft gasp, giving Jake her best look of horror. "Is this true?"_

_"Yes!" Leah replied, nodding vehemently. "I saw him!"_

_Calleigh turned her gaze to Leah, crossing her arms over her chest. "And just what were you doing out of bed, young lady?" she asked, her eyes sparkling._

_"I…"_

_Shaking her head, Calleigh laughed softly. "It's okay, sweetheart. It's Christmas," she said, making her way over to them. Christmas was just one of those holidays where all the rules could be bent…including the 'no sugar before bed' rule. Calleigh knew that, as excited as she was, and after just eating cookies, Leah would never fall asleep. With a chuckle, Calleigh into the cookie jar, searching for a small cookie for herself. At that moment, Jake reached his own hand into the cookie jar too, and Calleigh smiled as her fingers brushed against his._

_"I'm not in trouble?" Leah asked, an honest note of worry in her voice._

_"No, sweetheart," Calleigh replied, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead. "You're not." With a mock stern look on her face, she shifted her eyes to Jake. "But you, mister," she added, pointing to Jake. "You're in trouble. Stealing Santa's cookies?" She shook her head, clucking her tongue disapprovingly._

_"Yeah!" Leah added, her eyes sparkling just like her father's did whenever he teased. "Bad Daddy!"_

_Calleigh laughed. "Yeah, bad Daddy," she concurred, gently swatting at Jake's shoulder. "But we love him anyway, right Leah?"_

_Leah giggled. "Yep!"_

--

As bedtime came upon them, Calleigh gave a deep sigh, wishing with all her heart that Leah would once more be that happy, giggly little girl from a year ago. Christmas or not, Calleigh would happily violate that 'no sugar before bed' rule every single night if only it would bring her daughter back. She would give anything for this Christmas to be like last Christmas; she wanted Leah to bounce into the room, begging Calleigh to let her stay up just a little longer. She would give anything for Leah to be excited about tomorrow morning, to argue about her bedtime being too early. Calleigh would give anything for her little girl to smile again.

But Calleigh knew not to expect that. She knew not to expect Leah to be the same little girl again until Jake came home. She didn't want to admit it aloud, but as each night passed, there was a part of Calleigh that grew larger and larger; the part of her that wondered if Leah would _ever_ be the same little girl again, if Jake was _ever_ coming home.

If Calleigh sat still for too long, or if she let her mind wander too far, she would start to wonder. She had been with Jake long enough to know how bad his assignments could get. Calleigh knew for a fact that Jake's life had been in danger more than once; in fact, safe assignments were the exception rather than the rule. Way too many nights Calleigh had spent restlessly, tossing and turning as her stomach churned and her imagination conjured up gruesome, unwelcome images - Jake, lying injured in the street, unable to move or call for help. Jake, alone, bleeding out from a gunshot wound or a stab wound. Jake, his cover blown and him being tortured slowly and painfully for information; information that he may or may not have.

The thoughts were horrendous; but even worse were the dreams. Calleigh could - most of the time - shake herself out of her thoughts, but within her dreams she was trapped.

And there was every possibility that they weren't just thoughts, just dreams. Any one of them could come true at any time. It was enough to make Calleigh's stomach lurch, to make her heart pound in anxiety, to start the room spinning around her. When her thoughts ran away from her; when her imagination made her believe that Jake was dying alone somewhere, it was almost as though Calleigh herself were dying.

She was strong. She was independent. She knew she could fend for herself and Leah; it was what she'd been doing for the last six months. But really, what was she without Jake? Jake completed her in a way that no one else ever could. He was her one and only, her soulmate - ideas Calleigh had never believed in before Jake had come into her life.

What could Calleigh do if she were to learn that Jake would never come home to her again?

She knew what she should do; she should be strong and pull both herself and Leah through this. But in reality, could she ever be able to look into Leah's deep chocolate eyes, Jake's eyes, without breaking down?

The thoughts were gruesome and completely unwelcome, especially on Christmas Eve, and Calleigh forcefully pushed them away, trying to regain any appearance of normalcy and calm as she prepared to find Leah and put her to bed.

She stepped into the den, knowing what she would find before she found it. The sparkling lights on the Christmas tree cast a soft, tranquil glow throughout the entire room, filling even the darkest corners with light. It reflected off of Leah's long golden hair, making it shine beautifully. It seemed as though that was the only part of Leah that shined anymore. Her eyes seemed to have lost their sparkle; her smiles were only halfhearted, making no attempt to hide the pain within. It broke Calleigh's heart to see her like this, but what could she do? She couldn't give her daughter what she wanted.

Just as Calleigh expected, Leah's eyes were not captivated by the beauty of the tree. Instead she stood with her face pressed to the window, gazing out into the night. But Calleigh knew she was not watching for the telltale sign of reindeer in the sky. That wouldn't mean anything to her this Christmas. No, she was watching for the headlights of a certain car to pull into the driveway.

She used to watch for those headlights every single night before bedtime. But as time wore on, Leah only watched for them a few times a week, then a few times a month. Tonight was the first night since before Thanksgiving that she had gazed heartbrokenly out that front window.

Without even taking a look at her face, Calleigh could already see in her mind the moisture that shimmered in Leah's eyes. She could see the way Leah's bottom lip quivered, the way her stoic expression threatened to crumble. But Leah had inherited her mother's penchant for keeping a strong front, and Calleigh knew that Leah wouldn't want to let herself cry, at least, not until she was alone and safe underneath her covers.

With a heavy sigh, Calleigh made her way into the den, her slippered feet scuffling lightly on the carpet. "Leah, honey?" she called softly, stepping up behind her at the window. "Sweetheart, it's bedtime," she said quietly, gently threading her fingers through her daughter's hair. "Santa won't come if you don't get to sleep," she added, though knowing that Leah didn't care about that.

"I don't want Santa," Leah mumbled, her shoulders slumping.

"I know, baby," Calleigh said with a sigh. Though Leah hadn't voiced it, Calleigh knew exactly what she wanted. "I want Daddy home too."

Leah still didn't turn around, but Calleigh could see her daughter's reflection in the window. Her bottom lip was quivering almost uncontrollably now, and Calleigh knew that at any moment, her daughter was going to dissolve into tears, no matter how much she tried to hold herself together. "Oh, Leah," she whispered, dropping to her knees beside the little girl, ready to welcome her into her embrace.

Leah gave a soft sniffle, the last of her resolve breaking. "It's not fair!" she cried, launching herself into her mother's waiting arms. She buried her face in the crook of Calleigh's neck, her tiny body beginning to shake with her sobs. "He - he was supposed to come home! We were gonna go to the beach and have ice cream and - and - I want Daddy!"

Calleigh squeezed her own eyes shut, already feeling the telltale sting of tears. "I know, sweetheart," she murmured, burying her own face against her daughter's blonde locks. "I know."

"Why - why won't he come home?" Leah sobbed, clutching tightly at Calleigh's robe. "Did he - did Daddy stop loving us?"

It had killed Calleigh to watch her daughter's innocent heart slowly break into millions of tiny pieces over the past six months, but there was nothing that pained her more than knowing that Leah actually thought that. "No, Leah," Calleigh soothed, holding her a little more tightly. "Daddy could never stop loving you, sweetie." Despite her fight against her emotions, Calleigh couldn't stop the tears from slipping past her closed eyelids. They burned a trail down Calleigh's cheeks, such a foreign feeling to the cold numbness she'd accustomed herself to in the months since Jake's departure.

This was a season that was supposed to be filled with hope and love and light, but Calleigh could feel nothing but that numbness, the cold that had settled over her after many a lonely were few things worse than laying awake late into the night, wondering if she would forever be cursed with these cold nights. Worse were the nights that Leah would slip into her bedroom and lay down quietly beside her, subjecting herself to a sleepless night as well. Calleigh hated thinking that her daughter wondered the same things as she did, and now that she _knew_ Leah wondered those things, it made it all that much worse.

Summoning all the strength she had left, Calleigh pulled in a deep, steadying breath before climbing to her feet, Leah still snugly in her arms. She had stopped crying, but feeling the limp weight of her daughter's emotionally exhausted body was just as bad as her anguished sobs. With a sniffle of her own, Calleigh pressed a gentle kiss into Leah's hair. "Come on, sweetie, let's get you to bed," she murmured, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears.

"Okay, Mommy," Leah mumbled flatly, unwilling and unable to argue.

The moments passed in relative silence. Calleigh waited, perched on the side of Leah's bed while the little girl brushed her teeth. They followed their usual routine; in this time filled with nothing but uncertainty, routines were something to which they both clung tightly. Calleigh tucked Leah snugly into bed, pausing to brush a stray curl of blonde away from her face. "I love you, sweetie," she murmured, giving the little girl a kiss on the forehead.

"I love you too, Mommy."

"Get some sleep tonight, okay?" Calleigh coaxed, standing and moving toward the door. "So you'll be ready to see what Santa brought in the morning."

Leah didn't reply, and Calleigh turned off the light, letting out a breath as she stepped out of Leah's room. It was faint, and Calleigh almost didn't catch it. They were words spoken only to the night; words that went straight to Calleigh's own broken heart.

"I don't want Santa; I want Daddy."

It was with slow, heavy steps that Calleigh managed to pull her way back down the stairs. It killed her to leave her daughter in her bed, heartbroken and alone, but there was nothing Calleigh could do. Leah didn't want her comfort; she'd vocalized the one and only thing she'd wanted, and until she got that, there was absolutely nothing Calleigh could do to cheer her up. She'd tried; she'd _desperately_ tried.

Another fresh stab to her heart, Calleigh stumbled back into the den. This was the hardest part of the night; after Leah was in bed, but before Calleigh herself was ready to turn in. During those few hours, it hit her that she was really alone, and with the tender glow of the Christmas tree lighting the den, it only accentuated that feeling.

The tree was beautiful, just as it always was. But it's beauty was not what struck Calleigh; what struck her was the loneliness it projected. Christmas was a time for family and warmth, not for the cold, iciness of a broken home. But this year, that was exactly what that lofty evergreen represented.

This had been the first year that Calleigh had decorated the tree by herself. Before Jake, she'd barely ever bothered to put one up. It had always just been too much work. But with Jake, and then Leah, Calleigh found that there were few activities more fun than spending Thanksgiving night decorating the tree with her family. This year, however, Jake was gone. And Leah…by the time Christmastime came around, she had lost her spirit. She wanted nothing to do with the tree. But Calleigh had insisted, staying up late into the night decorating it all by herself, tears forming in her eyes.

It had been a last attempt by Calleigh to regain some normalcy, to inject the long-lost livelihood back into their lives. But it had failed, miserably. The sight of this beautiful, shimmery tree only served to remind Calleigh that an integral part of their family was missing. It had become an unwelcome bringer of misery in their home, instead of having the desired effect of bringing back the Christmas joy they had taken for granted in years gone by.

--

_The sound of Leah's giggles and happy babbling had slowly died away, though Jake and Calleigh didn't notice it at first. She had taken her job very seriously, unlike her parents. While Jake made a great deal of tangling himself in the bright red tinsel just for laughs and then proceeding to tangle Calleigh up with him, Leah had marched her way around the Christmas tree, hanging ornaments on the lowest branches in very carefully measured intervals. She had been looking forward to this all week long, helping to decorate the Christmas tree. It was the first year she had really been old enough to help, and to say she was excited would be an understatement._

_The part Leah was most looking forward to would come at the very end. After all the ornaments were place, and all the tinsel and lights strung, all that remained to be placed was the star at the top. And this year, that job belonged to Leah, who would sit perched atop her dad's shoulders in order to reach the top, while Calleigh stood by with the camera. Leah was so excited about that part._

_Too excited, in fact. After bouncing around the house for most of the morning, Leah's energy had slowly begun to dip. Calleigh caught her yawning a few times as she placed ornaments on the bottom branches. Eventually though, her energy level bottomed out completely. After a few moments of near silence, Jake's ears picked up on it. Making his way to the other side of the tree, he couldn't help but chuckle. Cuddling with a plush reindeer, Leah was curled up on the soft carpet, sleeping soundly. "Looks like all the excitement was a little too much for our angel," he commented, gazing down at his little girl._

_Calleigh smiled. "Poor thing," she murmured. "I saw her yawning earlier, but I thought she'd fight if I tried to put her down for a nap."_

_Jake smirked. "You thought? Come on, Cal, she has your argumentative streak."_

_"Baby, that's your argumentative streak, not mine," Calleigh retorted, chuckling softly. "I almost hate to move her, but she can't be comfortable down there, can she?" Making up her mind, Calleigh kneeled down, gently scooping the sleeping toddler into her arms. "I'm going to put her in bed," she whispered, rising once more to her feet._

_"Okay," Jake replied, closing the distance between them. He chuckled. "She must've been completely exhausted," he added, twirling a loose strand of blonde around his fingers._

_"Yeah," Calleigh replied quietly, feeling her heart melt as Jake lowered his head, pressing the softest of kisses to Leah's forehead. Leah cooed softly, her lips twitching slightly in sleep. "I'll be right back, Jake," she said, stepping out of the den to take Leah up to bed._

_It was the first time in a long time that Leah hadn't fought about her naptime. She really was an angel; naptime and bedtime were the only displeasures that she made very well known. After her daughter was safely tucked into bed, as always, Calleigh couldn't help but linger in the doorway, watching her as she slept._

_After a few more moments, Calleigh closed the door just a little, leaving it slightly ajar. With a smile on her face, she once more descended the stairs and entered the den. It had grown quiet, still, and Calleigh had the slightest suspicion that Jake was up to something. But where was he? "Jake?" Calleigh questioned, wondering where he'd disappeared to. She hadn't been gone that long, had she?_

_She was about to look in the kitchen for him, when she heard his low voice. "Hey Beautiful," he greeted, his voice carrying from the other side of the tree. "Guess what I found?"_

_Calleigh couldn't help but grin; she couldn't see him through the tree, but he sounded excited. And when Jake was excited, Calleigh couldn't keep from being excited with him. "Oh, I don't know," she teased, purposely thickening her accent, "your mind?"_

_"Cute, baby," Jake retorted, rolling his eyes in amusement._

_Calleigh smirked. "Well, you're the one who's always talking about how you've lost it, you know."_

_"That's only because you're so sexy that you actually drive me out of my mind," Jake shot back, his grin apparent in his voice._

_Calleigh's grin widened, his words sending a shiver throughout her body. She loved the effect he had on her, even after all this time. Absolutely loved it. Sliding a strand of hair behind her ears, Calleigh tilted her head expectantly. "So what'd you find?" she asked curiously._

_Emerging from behind the tree, Jake wore a satisfied smirk on his lips. Above his head he held a sprig of faux mistletoe, shaking it gently to draw Calleigh's attention. "I found mistletoe," he said happily. "You know what that means."_

_Calleigh had to laugh at the smug look on his lips. Despite the mistletoe, Jake was just far too confident that he was getting a kiss. He just knew that Calleigh couldn't deny him._

_And, even though he was right, Calleigh didn't have to let him know that immediately, did she?_

_Calleigh batted her lashes playfully. "'What does it mean, Jake?" she asked, nibbling thoughtfully at her bottom lip. Jake's eyes flickered briefly to her lips, sending a surge of satisfaction throughout her body._

_"It's mistletoe, Gorgeous," Jake repeated, gesturing with his free hand. "And I'm under it."_

_"So?" Calleigh persisted, barely restraining herself when all she wanted to do was run forward and give in to him._

_Taking a step forward, Jake gave a snicker. "So you're supposed to come here and give me a kiss," he smirked, touching his lips with a finger._

_Calleigh giggled. "Mm, is that what I'm supposed to do?" she asked, innocently rocking back and forth slightly on the soles of her feet._

_"It's what you're supposed to do…and it's what you want to do." Jake flashed her a knee-weakening smile, knowing exactly the effect it had on the beautiful woman just steps away from him. "And, unless I'm wrong - and I'm never wrong - then it's what you'll actually be doing in a few minutes."_

_"You act like you know me so well," Calleigh sassed._

_"I do know you that well." Jake grinned cockily. "It's why you love me." He glanced upward, gently shaking the mistletoe in his hand. "Come on, Beautiful. It's Christmastime. It's me with mistletoe over my head." He winked. "How can you resist?"_

_Good question. Calleigh had no idea how she had resisted this long. But she loved to tease Jake; and, only with Jake, she loved to be teased. Both of them had learned that dragging out the moment only made the zenith that much sweeter._

_But Calleigh couldn't stand still and just tease him any longer. The anticipation was growing inside her; she longed to touch her lips to his, gently; allowing him to take over after a moment's pause. It was another thing that had never been sweeter than it had been with Jake - surrendering control._

_A sly smile touching her lips, Calleigh slowly sauntered closer to Jake. "You think you're pretty charming, huh?"_

_Jake grinned, his eyes traveling appreciatively over her body as she made her way to him. He found her eyes once more as she stopped in front of him, their bodies nearly touching. "Baby, I know I'm charming," he replied cockily, the hand not holding the mistletoe coming to rest at Calleigh's hip. "And you know it too."_

_Calleigh gave a devilish giggle. "Well, it's a good thing you are charming, because, uh," she paused, glancing up at the mistletoe Jake held above his head. Reaching up, she took the mistletoe from his hand, bringing it to eye-level with a smirk. "Because you're not supposed to get a kiss with fake mistletoe," she teased, tossing the mistletoe carelessly away before looping her arms around Jake's neck._

_"But because I'm so damn charming, I get a kiss anyway, right?" Jake smirked, both arms wrapped around her waist now, keeping her close to him. _

_Calleigh grinned. "You might get two or three," she murmured. Rising to her tiptoes, Calleigh closed the remaining distance, brushing her lips lightly against his in a soft kiss. She didn't have to wait long for Jake to happily take control, threading the fingers of one hand through her long blonde hair as he pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. Calleigh lay a hand on his cheek, loving the way Jake's short stubble felt beneath it._

_Breaking away from her, Jake smiled as Calleigh let out a whimper of protest. Resting his forehead against hers, he gazed into her captivating emerald eyes, knowing they sparkled like that only for him. "I love you," he murmured, lost so deeply in her eyes. _

_The words still melted Calleigh just as much as they had the first time he'd said them to her. Her heart soaring, she stepped forward slightly, tucking her head snugly beneath his chin, feeling completely warm and secure as his arms encircled her. "I love you, too."_

_--_

If only Calleigh could feel that warm, that secure again right now. This was Miami; they were by no means in any danger of getting any snow for Christmas. All week, the temperature had hovered in the seventies, with sunny skies and clear nights. But despite the warmth both outside and in, Calleigh could not seem to warm up.

Snuggled tightly in her pink robe and slippers, Calleigh looked more like she was preparing for a long night in the Arctic rather than a mild night in Miami. Despite her long pajama pants and that fluffy robe and slippers, she was freezing. Shivers coursed through her body, no matter how tightly she tugged that robe around her.

It was all she seemed to feel anymore. If she wasn't numb, then she was freezing to death, and nothing would warm her up.

Nothing, except for Jake. With Jake's arms around her, the shivers that flowed through her body would not be because of cold. Her heart clenched in pain; it had been so long that Calleigh could barely remember just how Jake's arms felt around her. She missed him so badly.

As yet again she tugged the robe tighter around her, a soft tinkling reached her ears, and Calleigh glanced down toward the sound, a small gasp leaving her lips. Reflexively she lifted a hand to her neck, finding only bare skin.

She saw it, but everything within her wanted - _needed - _that necklace to still be around her neck when she reached for it. But it wasn't. Instead of around her neck, where it had spent the majority of the past seven years, Calleigh's favorite diamond necklace lay on the floor, twinkling in the light of the tree.

Seeing it alone on the ground forced up a surge of emotion in Calleigh; emotion she couldn't hold back. It wasn't just a necklace; it wasn't just a piece of jewelry. It carried as much significance as her wedding ring. It was beautiful and Calleigh had fallen in love with it the very first time she had seen it; just as she'd fallen even more in love with the man who'd given it to her that night, seven years ago.

It was the necklace Jake had given her for their first Christmas together.

They had spent Christmas together in the past; when they had been dating at the academy so long ago. But this Christmas, it was the first that they had really been _together._

--

_The soft glow of Christmas lights lit the den with a shimmery, almost ethereal light. The sun had long since set outside, but there was no lack of warmth in front of the Christmas tree. It was cozy, almost enough to lull Calleigh into a state of sleep. Jake's strong arms around her certainly weren't doing much to persuade her to stay awake - his arms were just too comfortable. Calleigh couldn't think of anywhere else she'd rather be._

_Jake nuzzled softly into her hair, eliciting a soft giggle from Calleigh. "I've got something for you," he murmured, his lips brushing over her hair as he spoke. To Calleigh's slight displeasure, he released her, so he could crawl around to the other side of the tree._

_Calleigh watched him, slightly confused. "Jake?"_

_"Shh," Jake coaxed, finding what he was looking for. With a grin on his lips, he made his way back to Calleigh, settling himself beside her on the carpet. "Here," he said, handing her a tiny box._

_Calleigh stared at it for a moment, a tiny giggle escaping her lips. "Jake…Christmas isn't until tomorrow," she said, looking at him questioningly._

_Jake nodded. "I know. But it's driving me crazy. I want you to have it now. So open it."_

_"I guess I can't argue with that," Calleigh replied with a bubbly smile._

_To Jake, it seemed an eternity before Calleigh had tugged all the wrapping paper off of the tiny box. His fingers were itching to take it from her hands and unwrap it for her. He didn't care that her desire for neatness came out even when unwrapping gifts. All he cared about was the look on her face when she opened the box. He leaned closer, sneaking a quick kiss to her neck as Calleigh ripped the last of the paper away._

_Her reaction as she opened the box was everything Jake had hoped for. "My God, Jake," Calleigh whispered breathlessly, lifting a hand to her mouth. Her eyes were wide; surprised, but pleasantly so._

_Jake smiled. "You like it?" he asked quietly._

_"Jake…it's gorgeous," Calleigh murmured, gently lifting the diamond necklace from the box. It shimmered brilliantly in the light of the Christmas tree, completely taking Calleigh's breath away._

_"And it'll look even better on you," Jake murmured, gently taking the necklace from Calleigh's slightly shaky hands. With a smile, he carefully brushed Calleigh's hair to one side, holding it out of the way as he clasped the necklace at the back of her neck. Calleigh shivered, feeling the touch of his fingers feather-light over her skin._

_Once satisfied that the necklace was securely in place, Jake tugged slightly at the front of Calleigh's robe, separating it just enough so that the diamonds fell along her bare neckline. "Beautiful," he murmured wondrously, sending Calleigh's heart soaring skyward. He lifted a hand, tracing his thumb over her cheek before leaning closer, capturing her lips with his._

_Calleigh broke away first, before the kiss could have time to progress into something more just yet. "Thank you," she murmured softly, linking her fingers with his. Jake looked at her, slightly confused, and Calleigh gave a soft giggle. "For the necklace, Jake."_

_Jake's look of confusion immediately shifted to an ecstatic smile. "So you like it?"_

_"I love it," Calleigh replied, gently fingering the tiny diamonds. "It's beautiful."_

_"And you look radiant wearing it."_

_Calleigh felt her cheeks flush. Jake certainly did have a way with words; he always knew exactly what to say. It was one of the many things she loved about him._

_With a happy sigh, Calleigh stretched out, laying back on the carpet. For a moment, she simply gazed upward, watching as the Christmas tree shimmered above. She'd never imagined anything like this; that she'd ever find this kind of happiness in her life. It had taken time to realize it, but that happiness had always been in the very first place she'd ever looked - with Jake. All these years she'd been looking, and in the end, she'd come right back to the only person she'd ever given her heart to. "Jake…" she murmured, shifting her gaze to him, "I don't think you know how happy you make me…"_

_Jake gave a quiet chuckle. "Well, if it's half as happy as you make me, then I think I have a bit of an idea," he replied, laying back beside of her._

_Calleigh smiled happily, snuggling closer to him. There was only one word she could find to describe this moment - perfect. Lying in the floor beneath the Christmas tree, next to the man she loved with all of her heart, after he'd just given her the most beautiful necklace she'd ever seen. And it was Christmas Eve; the glow of the tree with its twinkling lights above them was almost magical. She felt her heart would be content to stay here forever._

_After a few more quiet moments, Jake rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow. He gazed down at Calleigh, the fire in his eyes, one of the looks he reserved only for her, sending sparks through every inch of her body. "You know, I've always had this fantasy," he murmured. Caressing her cheek softly with his other hand, Jake lost himself in in her green eyes, loving the way the lights of the tree reflected in them. _

_"A fantasy, huh?" Calleigh asked, intrigued. She lifted herself slightly, bringing herself close enough to Jake that he could just stop talking and kiss her at any time. "Wanna share?"_

_Reading her mind, Jake leaned closer, softly capturing her lips. Calleigh sighed happily, but frowned when he pulled away too soon. Jake didn't leave her disappointed, though; instead of pulling completely away, he nuzzled against her neck, planting a trail of soft kisses there. Calleigh felt her entire body come alive with shivers. One of his hands found its way to where her robe closed in the middle, and tantalizingly slipped beneath the fabric, finding the softness of Calleigh's flushed skin. His skillful fingers traced the outline of her breast as his lips crept back upward, nibbling lightly along her jawline. Calleigh gasped softly, squirming slightly as her body responded favorably to his touch. "Jake..." she half-moaned, half-protested as his lips reached their destination just below her ear. _

_"Relax, Beautiful," Jake soothed, his lips never pausing in their exploration of Calleigh's skin. Calleigh gave a soft whimper in response, letting herself fall completely to his seductive touch. What else could this man possibly make her feel in the span of one night?_

_Apparently, an entire other world of sensation, as his next words proved. "Since the very first Christmas that I knew you, I've always kind of fantasized," he murmured, pausing to nip lightly at Calleigh's earlobe, feeling her tense deliciously under his ministrations, "about making love to you by the light of the Christmas tree..."_

_Calleigh let out a soft moan, leaving Jake no doubt as to how she felt about that particular idea. Oh, what he did to her with his voice alone, but when combined with his hands and lips, it turned her into a quivering mess in his arms. _

_Nobody else had ever had such an intimate knowledge of Calleigh's body, and Jake made sure to utilize every single bit of that knowledge that night, intent on driving Calleigh out of her mind with want, with need, with love._

_It took his breath away, hearing his name leave her lips on those breathless whispers, watching her eyes flutter closed as her entire body came alive with sensation, seeing her fair skin take on that rosy flush that always drove him wild, that rosy flush accented by the diamonds that danced along her neckline._

_She was amazing. Letting her go the first time had been the biggest mistake of his life, and he certainly wasn't about to make that mistake again. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with this woman._

_Feeling the emotion of the moment start to take over him, Jake buried his face in the crook of Calleigh's neck, breathing her in, feeling her fingers at the back of his neck, tugging at his hair. "God, I love you, Calleigh," he murmured breathlessly, feeling her shiver beneath him. "I love you."_

_--_

Holding her breath, Calleigh slowly kneeled, extending a shaky hand to retrieve the necklace. Bringing it to eyelevel, she felt tears come to her eyes as she realized why it had fallen right off of her neck. The clasp had broken.

And that was it. Her strength was gone, broken like the tiny clasp on that beautiful necklace. Her eyes watered uncontrollably; her body began to shake, but still Calleigh tried to fight. With the last vapors of strength, she fought against the tears she'd been repressing for so long.

Her fingers closed over the diamonds, so tightly that she could feel the sting of her nails biting into her skin. Resolutely, Calleigh climbed to her shaky feet, taking a spot in front of the window, her back to the Christmas tree. It was the same spot that Leah had occupied earlier in the evening. Outside the window, the night remained peacefully quiet, cloaked within darkness. There were no headlights to cut through that darkness; no headlights to light the driveway while a car - Jake's car - pulled in to the driveway. No, the driveway would remain empty; Jake's spot unoccupied, not only in the driveway, but in his and Calleigh's bed, at the breakfast table in the morning, in the floor next to Leah as she opened her presents on Christmas morning. Those spots would remain unoccupied for God only knew how long.

For all Calleigh knew, those spots, those endless voids in their lives, might never be filled again.

With a sigh, she rested her forehead against the cool glass, trying desperately to summon up the courage to pull Leah's gifts from the closet and place them beneath the tree; the courage to turn herself in to another lonely night in their cold, empty bed. Desperately she searched for the strength to make it through Christmas without Jake, but Calleigh knew there was no way to prepare for the wave of anguish that would wash over her during the day tomorrow. All she could hope for was that she would be able to stay strong in front of her daughter. Leah shouldn't have to spend Christmas worrying and wondering about _both_ of her parents.

Unable to stand the happy, twinkling lights any longer, Calleigh reached down and tugged the cord out of the wall. The lights on the tree flickered, shimmering for just a second more before all went dark, effectively hiding Calleigh from all the rest of the world.

She held herself together long enough to murmur just one wish; just one Christmas wish, for herself and for Leah.

"Come home, Jake," she murmured, her cheeks already dampening with the tears she'd repressed for months. "Come home."

And it was then that she finally let the tears come. Giving up the fight, Calleigh finally gave into that overwhelming urge to cry, letting herself finally fall victim to the tears she had repressed, the pain and the heartbreak that she had tried to ignore for so many months.

It was supposed to be the most wonderful, most magical night of the year. But as Calleigh's emotions came over her like the darkness of the night, she knew she had never felt more alone.


End file.
